Before I knew Jesus, my reputation was ripe with sin - angry, selfish, addicted, self-absorbed, destructive, unstable, emotional, the list could go on.
I thought very little of it to be honest, because I was so engulfed in my survival, I barely had time to surface and consider the impact of my actions. People tolerated me, however.
When Jesus came into my life, I was excited about the prospect of finally being a better human being. More Christ-like. I was ready for this!
However the funniest thing happened, I changed for the better, but somehow I was now labelled with other words I wasn't a fan of.
Suddenly people started calling me "religious" (yes with quotation marks). They laughed at my fasting, mocked my references to the Bible, stated my faith was a fairy tale... the list could go on.
While I watched myself becoming patient, and kind (fruit I never had without Him), I was referenced as holier than thou and judgmental.
Quite frankly I was confused. I'm becoming more like Jesus, and God knows that is a great thing! I get angry less, I think more of others, and I'm easier to get along with, but this did not seem to appease the critics.
They just morphed, and I was acutely aware of their accusations. My reputation seemed actually, pretty bad. Which was odd in the sense that I was becoming more enthralled with this incredible God we serve, and loving people more, but I was becoming less tolerable to others in their eyes.
I felt like I was tip-toeing around their opinions, trying not to say too much about God for fear of their comments.
I tried to laugh occasionally when they said something heinous or offensive.
Or the worst one, claiming I am not like Jesus at all.
I would look through the Bible and read texts, wondering where they found this agreeable, only using positive and affirming words, Jesus.
He wasn't in there.
In fact, I saw our beloved Saviour as compassionate, kind, loving, and honest. He taught all the time, corrected and rebuked often, focused on the mission every step He took, and did as the Father did.
But those who want to follow Him, must be willing to lose their life for His sake. Matthew 16:25
Jesus was referenced as the devil, a blasphemer, a revolutionist, and mocked for various other reasons.
The Lord so graciously reminded me of the question He posed to the disciples in the Gospel accounts, "Who do you say that I am?" Speculations followed Him, and yet it was Peter who got it right by the allowance of the Father.
Maybe that's the point.
Maybe others won't always see.
Maybe they can't.
Can we accept that though?
Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Philippians 2:5-7
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